Sort Your Head Out: Mental health without all the bollocks

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The book is very episodic and comes across slightly repetitive. I imagine a lot of the text may have started off life as a blog. It has a very bloggy feel about it. Chapter 18 is typical starting; In other words, we shouldn’t be blaming working-class lads for not wanting to get involved in the soft and cuddly language of mental health.

When I landed my first job in journalism I told myself that the best way to succeed was to never stop. When I finished at the office I would go home and write down ideas, do bits of research, read other newspapers and magazines obsessively. I was a product of Thatcherism – totally in thrall to my own productivity. I didn’t just want a steady job that paid the bills. I wanted to create great things constantly and be defined by them. And I also wanted to get totally shitfaced every weekend (plus sometimes on a Thursday). But when he reached his thirties, work, relationships and fatherhood started to take their toll. Like so many blokes who seemed to be totally fine, he often felt like a complete failure whose life was out of control; anxiety and depression had secretly plagued him for years. Turning to drink and drugs only made things worse. Sam knew he needed help - the problem was that he thought self-help was for hippies, sobriety was for weirdos and therapy was for neurotics. Liked the look of this one and Sam Delaney (Journalist, podcaster, editor) looks like someone to investigate more.By the time I was in my late 30s I was struggling to cope with the combined pressures of work, family and socialising – and had started to self-medicate with alcohol. In this extract from his new book, broadcaster and journalist Sam Delaney tells how he embraced a simpler, more idle lifestyle to save his mental health But when he reached his thirties, work, relationships and fatherhood started to take their toll. Like so many blokes who seemed to be totally fine, he often felt like a complete failure whose life was out of control; anxiety and depression had secretly plagued him for years. Turning to drink and drugs only made things worse. Sam knew he needed help – the problem was that he thought self-help was for hippies, sobriety was for weirdos and therapy was for neurotics. So next time you’re in the pub, go to the trouble of asking how your mate is actually feeling. Twice. After discovering that therapy didn’t have to be for ‘hippies and weirdos’, Sam became far more interested in the subject as a whole, reading books and researching the topic properly. He has learnt to ‘not belittle your own problems or pain’ and he feels hopeful that the newest generation of young men feel more able to discuss their feelings and experiences without judgment.

I have had to train myself not to fear idleness but to embrace it. I have had to discover beauty and fun in the day-to-day. It is all there in front of us. Nora Ephron, the famous Hollywood screenwriter, once said: “Interesting stories happen to people who know how to tell them.” Nowadays, I spend most of my time telling people stories. Sometimes they ask me how come so many interesting things happen to me. They don’t. The same amount of remarkable, funny or stimulating things happen to me as to the next person. It’s just that, these days, I am clear-eyed enough to see them. Covering his complex upbringing, fast paced career, struggles with addiction and recovery, and detailing lessons he’s learnt along the way, Sort Your Head Outis Sam’s startlingly raw, compassionate and hilarious account of why opening up is the first step to sorting your head out. In 2018 I had a complete nightmare, losing my radio show and TV show within a couple of months of each other. Shortly afterwards, my production company descended into a state of financial pandemonium and all sorts of professional and deeply personal conflict ensued. I was miserable, exhausted and scared of the future. I had been sober for three years and, despite the prevailing chaos, I wasn’t once tempted to throw myself off the wagon. I figured however bad things seemed, my mental health would be a great deal worse with a hangover. Mind you, this was the first big test I had faced since I quit drink. Then I did something that was pretty alien to me. I started to own up to the fact that I was struggling. I went to a group called Andy’s Man Club where blokes meet every Monday night for a chinwag about life, all the shit it can throw at you and all the beauty that’s to be found in it too. It helped. I started chatting to mates about what I was going through and the things I was worried about. I was stunned by their empathy. Next, I started writing about this sort of stuff. A couple of articles in the newspaper about my own little struggles: the drinking, the anxiety, the childhood stuff I’d never quite shaken off. I’d been writing for years but never with much honesty about myself. I like making people laugh and found it was easy to use humour as a means of distracting from self-reflection. I am still very much a work in progress. I still overdo it sometimes. I still say yes to things I shouldn’t. I sometimes fill dead evenings with chocolate and make myself an espresso at 8 p.m. at night because . . . I don’t know why – it’s just something to do, innit?Eventually, there was a collapse. There always is. Since then, I have rebuilt my life in a simpler way that is easier to manage. For many middle-aged blokes like me, masculinity is still all about beer, banter and a stiff upper lip. Sort Your Head Out” is Sam Delaney’s attempt to draft a no-nonsense guide to men’s mental health. He does so less through recourse to medical or academic research, but largely by drawing on his own experience of crushing anxiety, alcoholism, and drug addiction. In doing so, Delaney has written a self-help guide free of earnest psychobabble that seeks to connect with a group often overlooked in the discourse on mental health: working class men. The core message is accurate and a lot resonates. Some practical advice. A yet another good book to put on the shelf marked "Shirk, Rest and Play". Rapper Professor Green, football player Declan Rice and comedian Romesh Ranganathan are just some of the ambassadors working with CALM.

The Mirror's newsletter brings you the latest news, exciting showbiz and TV stories, sport updates and essential political information. It’s a real shame because since I learned to be more open about my feelings, I have been amazed by the amount of support I have received.I craved stimulation at all times. I was terrified of even fleeting moments of boredom. I thought of myself as being constantly on the run from lapsing into that fat bored kid I had once been. The truth is, I was probably just scared of ever being alone with my own unfiltered thoughts. They’re community spaces for men to connect, converse and create. The activities are often similar to those of garden sheds, but for groups of men to enjoy together. They help reduce loneliness and isolation, but most importantly, they’re fun. Keeping it all inside was what nearly dragged Sam under. Then he began to open up and share his story with others. Soon his life started to get better and better. Now, he's written this book to help you do the same. We try to cover interesting topics and often serious subjects, but in a way that is easy to follow and understand, and it doesn’t get overly tedious and up itself. We don’t take ourselves all that seriously and don’t like the tone to remain too serious or heavy for long. Like many podcasts, it’s all about having a good chat and a laugh.